tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-48788509026318139052024-03-14T20:54:48.721+11:00seBLOGtyenMarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14324850286287202031noreply@blogger.comBlogger185125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4878850902631813905.post-656372908721372352015-10-21T09:06:00.000+11:002015-11-08T09:07:10.656+11:00100% Committed<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Hello my name is Maria and I am morbidly obese. I didn’t get this way overnight it happened
gradually over 20 years. Even writing those words “morbidly obese” is
liberating.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">So why do I want to make changes now?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Because I can no longer “pretend” that I’m obese. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Let me take a moment to explain, recently my family and I
went on a holiday to sunny Queensland, it was a long overdue holiday. As we
were in the ‘theme park’ capital of Australia we went to Seaworld, Movieworld
and Dream World. At these places we all
had a brilliant time. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Until…. I was kindly asked to get off some of the roller coaster rides because they were unable to lock in the safety harness or
bar. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">No matter how much I pushed or sucked my gut in, the
harnesses would not lock. To say I was embarrassed
would be a universal understatement. I didn’t want to burst into tears in front
of my child but I was close to making an absolute fool of myself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">To admit this embarrassment to myself is one thing but to admit
it to the world is pushing myself right out of my comfort zone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">So here I am sitting down the day after the first time I was
asked to get off a ride because I am too fat.
Embarrassed, shocked and sickened to see how bad I let myself go. </span><o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Marihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14324850286287202031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4878850902631813905.post-49820740371967685952014-06-03T15:47:00.000+10:002014-06-03T15:47:15.744+10:00I forgive myself<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light","sans-serif";">I
forgive myself for the friendship with Ambarish, I knew at the start of it that
it would not last long but I pushed and ended up hurting myself in the end. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light","sans-serif";">I
forgive myself for the state of my body.
Lying on the Osteopaths table I was ashamed at how I had disrespected
myself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light","sans-serif";">I
forgive myself for my ego, for too many years I have lived in my mind instead
of living as my true self.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light","sans-serif";">I
forgive myself for misusing “I am” and telling myself that I am (or have) PCOS,
I am unworthy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light","sans-serif";">I
forgive myself for sabotaging my relationships with my grieving nieces. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light","sans-serif";">I
forgive myself for not honouring the gift inside me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light","sans-serif";"><b>Forgiveness
does not happen in your head until it happens in your heart! </b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light","sans-serif";"><i>Mari –
you are absolutely and unconditionally forgiven! </i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
Marihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14324850286287202031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4878850902631813905.post-43380403135599447432014-05-12T15:58:00.001+10:002014-05-12T15:58:18.276+10:00Book / CD Review - Secrets of Manifesting (Wayne Dyer)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I recently listened to the 5 part CD collection of Secrets of Manifesting
and these were the points I jotted down whilst on the train:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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</div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you really wish to accomplish something, you first have to expect if
of yourself</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Pam McDonald – APOE Gene</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Friends are God’s way of apologising for our family</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Self-actualisers are independent of the good opinion of others</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When you are god, you don’t ask for things to happen you insist that
they do</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I am god in action</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">By simply saying “I am NOT”, “I can NOT”, “I have NOT”, you are
knowingly or unknowingly throttling the great presence within you.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You need to stop judging; once you forgive then your manifestations
will work</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The power of awareness - book</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Use your imagination to help manifest and say to God today “I AM THAT”</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I AM GOD</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">An intention without conviction is a waste of energy</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Conviction is another word for faith</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You can be a host to God or a hostage to your EGO.</span></li>
</ul>
<br />
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The last point was the biggest take from this whole CD collection. I am sure that if I were to listen to it
again then I would get a whole different list.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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Marihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14324850286287202031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4878850902631813905.post-67446002712165364422014-05-12T15:26:00.002+10:002014-05-12T15:26:32.111+10:00Morning Pause<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Picture this:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It is 6:55 on a cold autumn
morning and you finally got the kids out of the house and you are rushing to
drop them off, first at before school care and then kinder/child care.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The kids in the back of the care
are bickering, whining and screeching. Your oldest child in the front in
sighing and you can feel the tension radiating from him. If that wasn’t enough to grate on your
nerves, your ego mind is running a commentary “You are going to miss the train”,
“Why can’t you leave the house on time?”, “Why is every morning the same rush?”,
“What is wrong with you?”, “This is all your fault for dawdling and pulling Oracle
cards and playing with your crystals instead of getting ready” and then finally
“You are worthless”.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">To add to all this stress for
some reason there is a lot of traffic, so rushing and driving fast won’t help
you today!<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So here you are sitting in traffic,
feeling really crap about yourself and your kids and grating on your nerves,
and you can just feel the frustration and anger building. You are trying to not lash out at the kids
but you feel that the anger is just about to burst out of you. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Then you notice the grass at the
side of the road.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">BANG!!!<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The whole world stops, as you
notice the small patch of frost on the grass.
So instead of yelling at the kids you say “Look at the grass, Jack frost
was busy last night”.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Your outburst was meant with a
pause of complete silence. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Happy twittering and chattering
occurs while the kids explore the beauty of your surroundings. You then notice
the different coloured leaves on the trees, you look at the wondering autumn
flowers blooming. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This is what happened to me a week ago and since then our mornings are
filled with wonder as we watch “the tress that look like they are on fire”
change colour and enjoy pointing out to each other our other discoveries. This
morning it was the fog from the lake down the road and seeing fog on a field of
grass.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Do I miss the train? Sometimes
but I know that there will be another one soon. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Was I late? No<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What I have learnt was to take a morning pause and enjoy the beautiful
world that we live in, instead of worrying that I would miss this or be late
for that. As soon as my focus shifted
away from where I was going and what time was going to get there, everything
flowed. The traffic lifted, the kids were dropped off with little fuss. I had a perfect car park at the station and
as I got to the platform the train was pulling into the station.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So anytime you feel yourself getting frustrated and ready to burst,
take a pause and look for something beautiful in that moment and it can be anything,
a sticker on car, tree, and bird, anything that will give you that pause.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Marihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14324850286287202031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4878850902631813905.post-12132761039117738012014-04-28T19:28:00.000+10:002014-04-29T15:35:31.859+10:00Crystal Alchemy<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I attended my first natural
therapy workshop on the weekend, which was all about Crystal Essences, I am
only now able to really think and talk about what I experienced.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The setting was calm and intimate
with only 3 of us in attendance and I was privileged to be welcomed into my Kinesiologist's (</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://danielagrincevicius.com/" target="_blank">Daniela Grincevicius</a>)</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"> home, such a beautiful environment.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I learnt all about the different
essences that you can purchase, these range from flower, bark, crystal essences
to angel essences (Yes that is right Angel essences) just to name a few. I am hooked, and I know that there will be
much more purchased in the near future.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The best part of the day was
making my own personal crystal essence with a specific intention. My intention was to heal my hormone
imbalance, specifically to heal PCOS. The fun that we had playing with all
these crystals! Even now I am fighting back the tears of pure joy. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I picked every crystal that I
wanted to cook in the super charged water and I set out my second ever crystal
grid, with these lovely oracle cards! At
one point I was holding Ajoite and felt my eyes welling up. The whole time I was working on my grid I was
so emotional and spent a whole time fight back the tears.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Here is a photo of my work:<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NT5dnbXAW_s/U14epwO2n6I/AAAAAAAABz8/463H2R_9TXI/s1600/Mari+Alchemy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NT5dnbXAW_s/U14epwO2n6I/AAAAAAAABz8/463H2R_9TXI/s1600/Mari+Alchemy.jpg" height="239" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The last part of the cooking
process was to use a sounding bowl, which I had never done. I just couldn’t hold back the tears any
longer and I cried the whole time. The
thought that was going through my mind was “Mari it is your time now, Mari it
is time to heal now”, over and over. Just an absolute powerful experience that I have goose bumps thinking about it!<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I am deeply and profoundly
blessed that the universe arranged itself that I would attend this wonderful
workshop.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="color: blue;"><b>EDITED:</b></span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I published this post yesterday and it has not been
sitting well with me because I have not been 100% honest and the whole point
about my blogging is to face the truth, in order to let go and move on.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I didn’t post all the photos that I received from
the workshop, so here is one that I wanted to talk about:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--cuSBLlGoW0/U186ErzrNuI/AAAAAAAAB0M/0yxT2sABoKE/s1600/unnamed+(1).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--cuSBLlGoW0/U186ErzrNuI/AAAAAAAAB0M/0yxT2sABoKE/s1600/unnamed+(1).jpg" height="239" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The main reason I didn’t post this was because I
was ashamed and embarrassed, for the following reasons:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">1. I was embarrassed that I cried in front of someone I
met just that day. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">2. <span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I know exactly what I was thinking at the moment
that photo was taken, “Please don’t cry” I was fighting back the tears at this point<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">3.<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><i>OK this is a tough one</i> – but the person in this
photo is not me. The real Mari is hiding under a massive amount of layers and I love the person inside. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I’m always shocked when I see myself in photo’s or catch a glimpse in a window as I am walking past because in my mind I do not look like this and I am taking steps within my life to change my own perception and finally show the world the real me!</span></div>
Marihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14324850286287202031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4878850902631813905.post-59180764727280938662014-04-17T18:54:00.000+10:002014-04-28T18:55:27.258+10:00Overwhelmed<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I am overwhelmed with the
response to my previous blog post. For me it was a natural thing to do, write
about what I had learnt and heal as I do it. This is what my blogs are about; yes
I have more than one. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I started my first blog after I
found out that I had a common medical condition PCOS (poly-cyctic ovarian
syndrome) as a means to tell the world about my struggle with falling
pregnant. At the time I was appalled
that I had never heard about this condition before and it was common! <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I am grateful for my struggle
with infertility because it was something I had to go through in order to have
my wonderful family. All my 3 kids were conceived with fertility treatments
along with kinesiology healings. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Over the years that blog morphed
into a celebration of my pregnancy with Jordan, my experiences of being a new
Mum, my struggle with Post Natal Depression, my joy at conceiving Twins and
then finally my spiritual journey. It
was only recently that I split the two blogs one relating to family and the
other relating to my journey. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I keep the blog posts as a
reminder of what I go through, because once the words are out of me, written
and posted then it is all forgotten. I’ve had these blogs for 10 years it is my
way of healing and I love to write.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Only recently in a kinesiology
session with Daniela, I blurted out “I would love to be an Author, I can see
myself writing and publishing books as my living”. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Right now as I am tying that post
the vision I had that day is still exactly the same and just as strong. The beauty about working with Daniela was
that she got my idea in an instant and was able to tap into something I had not
even realised, as her calm reply was "Isn't it interesting that you are
already living your dream of a writer without knowing it".<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Wait…what?<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Yes that is right I already write
for a living. This is why I love being a
Business Analyst, but I didn’t even know why I loved my job. It was because every day I have the opportunity
to peruse something that I love to do…write.
At the moment I may write requirements specifications, and project briefs,
but this is a form of writing. I also
didn’t realise that I am already a published writer; you are reading my published
works on the internet. I have written
and published my own blog for 10 years now.
<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I already have an outline for a
young adult fantasy trilogy that I considered as my hobby. I also have an
inspired self-help book outlined that is itching to get out of me. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I am grateful for all the
comments and personal message I received from my previous post because it just
reiterates that my dream of being an author of a book is something I can and
will achieve. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The difference between the past
10 years and now…is that this time I choose to share my previous post on
Facebook and not just blogger. Was that
brave? I don’t even think that it matters, if I was brave or courageous, to me
it just felt right that it was time that I share my work with the people I know
on Facebook.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Marihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14324850286287202031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4878850902631813905.post-29931608485992668632014-04-12T19:37:00.001+10:002014-04-12T19:37:15.979+10:00Healing the 11 year old Marika.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Just so that
I don’t confuse you, Mary and Maria in Hungarian are the same name; those that
are named Maria have a nick name which is Marika. On my birth certificate I am Maria, my family
call me Marika. Maria is a family name on my father side, my Grandmother, an
Aunty and her Daughter (my cousin are all Maria, but are known as Marika). My true
self however is Mari and that is the persona I choose to show the world. But in order to do that I need to heal
Marika.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">This blog
post has come from yet another wonderful balance I had with Daniela this week.
It seems as though I am ready to take the next step in my healing journey. Yes I
cried… again. The thought that one day soon the real Mari will be shown to the
world one day soon is a little daunting. BUT it is time. Mari's time is
now. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">But before Mari
can be revealed the past needs to be healed and let go, and this is where
Marika comes in. Marika has taken an emotional beating for too long. I am
grateful so grateful for the lessons and for Marika battling all those years.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Here is a
picture of me at 11 years old, I am on a train in Hungary and this is where it
all began.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-iRWxCwYlANc/U0kIiufOeKI/AAAAAAAABu8/GrMtIQz3E9M/s1600/Marika+11+001.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-iRWxCwYlANc/U0kIiufOeKI/AAAAAAAABu8/GrMtIQz3E9M/s1600/Marika+11+001.bmp" height="212" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I take the
hand of little Marika, she Maris a skinny wee little thing and she shaking with
fear. I lean down and hug little Marika and say <i>“It is going to be OK, we can let go now, but before we can let go we
need to remember…”<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Marika is in
Hungary, she travelled there with two friends and a mother. But essentially she
has been sent to her family by herself. Marika spends time with all her
Aunties, Uncles, Cousins, 2nd Cousins from her Dad’s side and her Maternal Grandmother.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">She loves
all her family and enjoys spending time with each and every one of them. She is
proud that all these family want to get to know her. She is excited to be
staying in the house her father was born in, there is real. History there!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Marika especially
loves her Aunty Marika (Marika néni), as she introduced her parents and told
all the wonderful stories for her father’s childhood because they were closets
in age and shared a special bond. Marika néni was married to a wonderful man named
Lajos but little Marika knew him as Loli bácsi. The nick name was perfect because he was as sweet
as a Lolly. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Together they
indulged little Marika with treats and love. Imagine an 11 year old half way
around the world on her own and here she is hearing about her parents and
getting to know a completely different side to her father. How blessed was she?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">11 year old
Marika would also spend time with her Grandmother (Nagymama) and whilst it was
wonderful it was also boring and filled with negativity. Nagymama did not like her Father and would
often berate him for taking her Daughter all the way to Australia. So as an 11
year old little Marika was subjected to nastiness about a father she adored.<br />
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">During her
visit Marika néni had minor surgery and 11 year old Marika was to stay with Loli
bácsi nothing wrong in that right? Wrong.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Nagymama
rocks up on their doorstep demanding that 11 year old Marika come with her
right then and NOW because Loli bácsi was not family. She went onto accused Loli
bácsi of unspeakable acts that <b><u>may</u></b>
occur all in front of 11 year old Marika. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Nothing other
than complete love, gentleness, laughter and happiness ever occurred. This was a man that climbed into the attic to
retrieve his daughters doll house so that 11 year old Marika could play with.
This was Loli bácsi that made her laugh simply by his wonderful wit. This was a
man the treated little Marika like his own daughter. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">There
was no choice in this situation other than little Marika leave with Nagymama
and be subject to more hatred and negativity.
Little Marika was scared though at the adult themes being introduced to
her.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">That was the point in that that it all started it
was then that Marika started putting weight. It was then that she ate to hide
and protect herself. This little girl could not understand what was being
said. All her Father’s family spoke loving about her Mother. Yet her Mother’s
own Mum was so nasty. She was frightened.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Dear little Marika, it was wrong for Nagymama
to say those nasty things to you. It was wrong and a lie. She was just jealous
because Nagymama could see how much you loved Marika néni and Loli bácsi. This
was not your fault you were your true self. Love personified just like our
future daughter.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">We need to forgive Nagymama because she knew
no better and she did what she thought was right.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Little Marika you no longer need to be scared
of the love you felt for Marika néni and Loli bácsi. You no longer need to hide
your true self. Nagymama attacked our Father because she was jealous of the
fact that our Mother had a better life. Nagymama didn't hate our Dad, not
really she was just unhappy with her life. She had four children, one in
London, one in USA and one in Australia the other lived in the same country but
rarely visited her. She was unhappy and lonely and selfish because she wanted
you all to herself. This was her issue and not yours.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Forgive and let go little Marika, it is time
you join back with to me (Mari) our true self.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Here
is a photo of what I looked like when I arrived home. At that time I remember constantly being
hassled because I had gained 6kg. At the
age of 11 I was already being teased and told by my family that I was fat....
do you see a fat child here? I don’t!</span><br />
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Marihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14324850286287202031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4878850902631813905.post-50996957268812469122014-03-17T16:42:00.001+11:002014-03-17T16:42:21.299+11:00The Secret Garden<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light","sans-serif";">In an
attempt to absorb self-healing messages, I’m reading ‘The Power of Now’ (by
Eckhart Tolle), ‘E-Squared’ (by Pam Gout), ‘I can see clearly now’ (by Dr Wayne
Dyer) and ‘The Magic’ (by Rhonda Byrne) all at once. As I am reading these I’m
also being inspired to make changes along the way. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light","sans-serif";">I
feel as though I am bombarding myself with messages and inspiration from
different sources and confusing myself at the same time. I decided to stick with one book from a Genre
and complete it before moving on. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light","sans-serif";">One
of the fascinating lessons I recently learnt and implemented was from ‘I can
see clearly now’, where Dr Wayne Dyer is talking about ‘The Secret Garden’, and
how every afternoon at school the teacher would read from the book. Dyer then
goes onto explain how that book left a lasting impression on his imagination
and how he would often dream imagine being in his own version of the secret
garden.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light","sans-serif";">Inspired,
I obtained a copy of the movie ‘The Secret Garden (1993)’ one that I remember
watching as a child. Recently I introduced
this movie to my children, and we all fell in love. Our favourite scene was:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Calibri Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0699117/?ref_=tt_trv_qu"><span class="character"><span style="color: blue; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Colin</span></span></a>: Are you making this magic?<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div style="line-height: 13.65pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 3.6pt;">
<i><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Calibri Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0531069/?ref_=tt_trv_qu"><span class="character"><span style="color: blue; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Mary</span></span></a>: No, you are.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div style="line-height: 13.65pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 3.6pt;">
<i><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Calibri Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0699117/?ref_=tt_trv_qu"><span class="character"><span style="color: blue; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Colin</span></span></a>: Just like in the story.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Calibri Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0699117/?ref_=tt_trv_qu"><span class="character"><span style="color: blue; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Colin</span></span></a>: It's like the whole universe is in here.[Pointing
to his chest]<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div style="line-height: 13.65pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 3.6pt;">
<i><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Calibri Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0531069/?ref_=tt_trv_qu"><span class="character"><span style="color: blue; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Mary</span></span></a>: I'm certain it is.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Calibri Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0699117/?ref_=tt_trv_qu"><span class="character"><span style="color: blue; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Colin</span></span></a>: That means I could marry you.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Calibri Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0531069/?ref_=tt_trv_qu"><span class="character"><span style="color: blue; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Mary</span></span></a>: What? But we're cousins!<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div style="line-height: 13.65pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 3.6pt;">
<i><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Calibri Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0699117/?ref_=tt_trv_qu"><span class="character"><span style="color: blue; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Colin</span></span></a>: I don't care. I want us always to be together.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: blue; font-family: "Calibri Light","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0531069/?ref_=tt_trv_qu"><span class="character"><span style="color: blue; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Mary</span></span></a>: We are together.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light","sans-serif";">If
you look past the innocent yet incestuous part of the dialogue above, there is
a powerful message. ‘The whole universe
is inside us’. I stopped movie at this point and discussed the meaning of those
words and my kids got it. They
understood the meaning!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light","sans-serif";">After
the movie was over and I was cuddling my twins who were crying because they
loved the ending, I asked them “Where is the universe” and all three of them
pointed to their chest near their heart and confidentially said “Right here
Mummy”.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light","sans-serif";">Thank
you Dr Wayne Dyer for inspiring me to bring this movie / book / lesson back
into my life, it may have taken me 37 years to ‘get the message’ but I did and
more importantly my children know. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
Marihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14324850286287202031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4878850902631813905.post-90126915246624271942014-03-10T18:24:00.000+11:002014-03-10T18:24:01.841+11:00Lessons everywhere<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">I work from home once a week which I am
eternally grateful for, it took me a long time to get to the place where I knew
that I was worthy of this request.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">I have come to love working from home and Tuesday
are my favourite days. The opportunity
to work from home allows me to strengthen my relationship with Jordy and his
teachers. I take and pick Jordy up from
school and just this year my in-laws have agreed to look after the twins on Tuesdays
as well. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">A few Tuesdays ago I picked Jordy up from
school and his teacher came out to tell me that he had been acting up in
class. That is wriggling on the floor
and not listening. Jordan even got that
upset that he crawled under the table in anger and no amount of coaxing would
make Jordan budge.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">This is not the first time this situation
has occurred and deep down I knew, just knew that I had not healed this situation
for myself and that is why it was coming up again. I knew that this was both our issues but is
was more about me rather than Jordan. So
I tried a different tact.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">On the way home from school I kept quiet, I
was not angry at Jordan I was attempting to be open to my feelings so that I
could approach it in a positive manner.
I did tell Jordy that we would be talking about what happened at school
that day. We have recently introduced a “talking
rock” which was recommended by my awesome kinesiologist. It is a Rose quartz and we cleanse it after
each use.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">We sat on the couch facing each other and I
started asking Jordy questions about what happened. Basically Jordy got up twice to put items
away, once in his tub and the other time in his bag. All the teacher saw was Jordy running here
and there. The teacher asked Jordy to
sit on the floor (as punishment) and Jordy did but his friend asked him to come
over to talk, so the teacher saw that Jordy had not listened and raised his
voice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">Jordy told me he felt that it was unfair
that he got into trouble when there were other kids in the class that were
mucking around and didn’t get into trouble; this is what made Jordy upset and
crawl under the table. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">I patiently listened to what he had to say
and then it was my turn to hold the “talking rock”. I started by saying how I completely understood
what he said to me and that the reason he wanted to put something in his tub
and bag was to ensure that he didn’t forget it.
This is what I do, I do things NOW before I forget, but I live too much
in my mind (whole other post on that one).
I then told him how I understood how frustrating it would be to feel as though
the teacher was picking on you when your other friends get away with mucking
around.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 2pt 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">This is where my healing came in because I
then asked Jordy to imagine being the Teacher Mr Sebestyen the Grade 2
Teacher. I then asked him to imagine a
classroom of 27 kids and it was the day to give out the spelling words for the
week. Mr Sebestyen is writing the
spelling words on the whiteboard and turns around to talk to the class and there is Thomas running to his tub. You think nothing of it and go back to the
board but the next time you turn around Thomas is running back from his
bag. You ask Thomas to sit on the floor
because this is learning time and not running time and running between tables
is disruptive to the other students. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">You trust Thomas to listen to you because
you know that he is a good kid but the next time you turn around Thomas is
talking to his friend and this makes you quiet upset. So you raise your voice
to Thomas and you are shocked when you see that Thomas has crawled under a
table.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">Jordy was very shocked with my story because
he now understood what it looked like to be in the teachers shoes. So I then started asking Jordy some
questions, what do you think the teacher would say if you had “asked” to put
things in your tub and bag giving him the reason that you didn’t want to
forget. He couldn’t answer. I said that
the teacher would either say “no not right now” or” yes Jordan you can do that
now”. But until and unless you ask the
teacher cannot read your mind and understand what your intention was.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">I worked from home the next day and went to
pick Jordy up from school. The teacher
told me that this boy was completely different from the previous day and he was
amazed at what I had done. I told him it
was not me but all Jordy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">On the way home Jordy was so excited and
happy about his day. I was saying to him
that he had a choice, we could both be like we were yesterday slumped in our
chairs, sad and silent; OR we could be so happy that you want to jump up and
down from the excitement. We spoke about
the differences in the day and how Jordy participated in the Class room, helped
the teacher, answered the questions and how much more fun his day was. I was so happy for him because it was all
him. He did this change, not me I just
provided the different sides to look from.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">The best thing my son said to me was “M<i>ummy
I want to be happy everyday at school"</i>.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Marihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14324850286287202031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4878850902631813905.post-74505090902094881942014-03-03T14:18:00.000+11:002014-04-16T11:51:54.375+10:00My Nieces – What did I do?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i><span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could’ve been any different.<span style="font-size: x-small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">I know my worth, I learnt that last year. So why was I allowing my nieces to treat me like a punching bag. I was you know, allowing them, I even told Tina in a text message “I am allowing you to treat me like a punching bag, because you are grieving and I know that this is what you need right now”. I gave her permission.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">I decided to honour my spirit and take the permission away. I know my worth and you do not treat me like this. I know what I have done for my nieces in the past. I started justify my past actions as proof of my love for them. But I caught myself, if they know my worth like I do, why would I need to justify myself? It was obvious in that moment that they didn’t know my worth, didn’t respect themselves enough to respect me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">So I decided to cut the ties and let my nieces go. Ellie didn’t believe that I loved her and Tina doesn’t forgive me, wants nothing to do with and says I have never been there for her. <span style="color: blue;"><i>Your wish is my command</i>.</span> Mari is no longer in your life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">I still love them with all my heart, what is different now is that I love and respect myself more! I am empowered and once the decision was made I felt a big shift occurring within me and within my life.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">The most important part was that I am NOT debilitated from the act of letting go.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">I can’t sit here and say that I am happy that they are not in my life. Part of me is sad, I didn’t get the chance to celebrate Tina’s 21<sup>st</sup> Birthday. Ellie didn’t visit the twins on their 5<sup>th</sup> Birthday. My nieces have to clean their parents’ house and settle the estate without our support. They will get engaged, married and have children of their own and I may not be a part of that. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">As I have mentioned before, I am reading lots of books and watching a lot of youtube video’s. This is what has stuck with me:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i><span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could’ve been any different. Letting go of the past, so that it does not hold you prisoner.</span></i></div>
</div>
Marihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14324850286287202031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4878850902631813905.post-3029648029507632432014-03-03T13:36:00.000+11:002014-03-04T11:51:29.517+11:00My Nieces – the ugly truth<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I don’t know where I should start; this post has been knocking around in my head for a while now. I have tried to put aside what has happened and let go. Obviously it has not worked, hence the reason for this post and it has been a long time in coming. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">**Edited to say – this is a tough post and will be long. But I need it out, it is time that I let go and I heal from this pain**<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">My heart breaks for Ellie (aged 23) and Tina (aged 21) in a month they have lost both their parents. I have no idea what they are going through; I can’t even begin to imagine what it is like to lose parents so young.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">With the death of my sister, it triggered a huge healing within our lives. For example, my mother and franks mother have not spoken in at least 10 years. At Ildiko’s funeral they walked arm in arm to the burial site. For me personally, I took a long to time to write her Eulogy and felt that there was great healing in those words. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">With the passing of my sister, all the past wrongs, misunderstandings and hard feelings were all buried with her. They left my life as I stood up in front of a sea of faces and told the world how much I loved my sister and wished her well in heaven.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">A month and 2 days after my sister passed, my brother in law also died, surrounded by his daughters and clutching a photo of Ildi. The morning of Franks death, Ellie had texted me asking to pick her up so that she could spend some time with my Mother and the kids. By the time I was ready to pick her up Ellie was on her way to the Emergency department for due to a sever panic attack. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I dropped everything as soon as she told me she was going to hospital. I literally threw my kids at my mother in law and then proceed to fly to the hospital. I do not remember the drive there because all I kept thinking was that I just needed to get by her side.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">At the time I was working closely with the CEO on a high profile Client project and I had deadlines to meet. But I put work aside to be there for Ellie, I would do it again in a heartbeat, she needed me and I dropped everything, literally everything to be there for her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">After receiving velum and calming down she was discharged. I stayed with her the whole time and even called Tina to let her know what was happening. I will never forget seeing Ellie like that and hearing her words, she was shattered and there was nothing I could do to ease her pain.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Ellie and Tina were trying to do the best that they could in a tragic situation. I felt that this was the time that you rely on the support of your family. They were getting the support but it was only from Franks parents, and my family were being pushed aside. My mother didn’t help the situation very much because she kept on airing her grievances with me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">My mother is grieving, Ellie is shattered, Tina is trying to be strong for the first time in her life stepping up to be there for her sister and putting others needs before her own, there here I am being and becoming the punching bag for my family.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">After another tearful phone call from my mother saying how Ellie and Tina have never once brought their boyfriends over to her house and how they are continuously over at Franks parents place with the boyfriends. I cracked and </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">sent a text message to both Ellie and Tina, requesting that they show my mother the same respect that they are showing Franks parents. I was tired of taking on my mothers jealousy so I pushed that message to the source, my nieces.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Was it right that I send a message like that? I don’t know, and it is too late to say yes or no, because I did send it and there was some truth to that message. BUT that message was bred from my mothers jealousy and that is never a good thing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">When you know better you do better!<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: blue;">Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could’ve been any different.</span><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">That text message was sent the day before Frank’s funeral and honestly in that moment I thought I was doing the right thing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: blue;">When you know better you do better!</span><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">The message I received from Ellie was one of hurt and of justification. I attempted to call her to explain but she ignored all my calls. Hung up on me and eventually turned off her phone. I must have called her 20+ times that day. I was left feeling like crap, my Ellie was not talking to me and tomorrow was her Dad’s funeral. I didn’t even know if she wanted me there, if she even needed me because she was not answering her phone!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">The message I received from Tina were full of malice and were abusive. She accused me of never being there for her in her life and she was clear in her words that she wanted nothing to do with me. That I could “fuck off and leave her alone” were her words. I tried to explain that I had not been in her life since she disrespected me and my family by bringing police into my home. But that I had always loved her. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">In my messages back to Tina I mentioned that I forgave her for the past and I attempted to fill them with love and kindness, even though her words were like a baseball bat beating me down.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: blue;">Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could’ve been any different.</span><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">When she told me that she will never forgive me, I thanked her, because I was thanking her for this lesson. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">When I got to my mother place after work that day as she was looking after my kids, I was filled with anger and pain. Ellie was ignoring me and Tina was abusing me, all because my mother dumped her shit onto me! So I let my mother know what she had wrought and she read every single word the girls had texted me. My brother also read every single word. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">So here I am at my mother’s house with the kids, the day before Frank’s funeral and I am livid and hysterical. Filled with pain and arguing with my father, mother and brother. I did not want to go to the funeral. There was no way I could go and face these girls that cut me deeply. I was scared that Tina would see me and kick me out of the funeral home, or her boyfriend would do the same.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I left my parents’ house and they were not even sure I would be attending the funeral the next day. I was not sure either. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">On the way home Jordy could see that I was very quiet and he asked me what happened and I told him “Mummy is upset because I made a mistake and Ellie will not pick up the phone so that I can say sorry and talk to her”. “That is so rude Mummy”. I asked him if we should call her one more time, he said yes and dialled her number, once again no answer. “That is so rude Mummy”. “I know Jordy, the problem is that it is Franks funeral tomorrow. Should we go?”, “No way Mummy, she is rude”. I was shocked this is coming from a 7 year olds mouth, from my little boy that LOVES Ellie.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">With a heavy heart we still went, we knew that we would not be staying for the burial this time, it was going to be a 40 degree day and my heart could just not take it. I just buried my sister 3 weeks previously. When we arrived I saw Tina and her boyfriend out the front of the funeral home and I asked my husband if we could stay in the car until she went inside. I was scared that she would take her anger out on me and throw me out. So we waited and entered after she was inside. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">As we walked up, I didn’t look at anyone and just kept walking straight ahead until I saw my mother sitting in a pew towards the back of the chapel. I didn’t think of anything other than getting to my mother and sitting down with my family. No thought as to why we were not sitting at the front, it never crossed my mind. I could see Ellie and Tina clearly and they were surrounded by people. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">My husband was adamant that under no circumstances was I to go up to Ellie as h</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">e got a whole run down of the previous days events. So instead of going up to her myself, my mother took Lilly to give Ellie a hug and a bunch of flowers. I sent my daughter to Ellie to let her know that we were there.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">That night, I knew that Ellie was flying to Bali with her boyfriend so I sent a text message hoping that she would find some time to heal on her trip. She was hurt that I didn’t go up to her at the funeral.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">In the weeks after the funeral, both girls have sent nasty, mean and abusive messages to me. From Tina she is saying that I disrespected her father by not sitting in the front pew at the funeral. From Ellie it is that she does not believe that I love her because I didn’t go up to her at the funeral.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I was left with a hard decision and life lesson to acknowledge!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">What did I do?...stay tuned to the next post.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could’ve been any different</span></i></div>
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Marihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14324850286287202031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4878850902631813905.post-38395893846155519332014-02-26T16:35:00.000+11:002014-03-15T16:15:15.590+11:00The true person<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">People show their true selves in many forms, it is what you choose to do with that truth that really matters.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It is in a touch of a friend on your arm when you are grieving. It is the kind word, look for a dear friend when you are upset. It can be the smirk of a person sitting in front of you when you are talking. It is in their eyes when you are trying to say something important. It is the words that they say to you when speaking. It can be an expression on a person’s face when they think that no one is watching. It can be the words they use to describe themselves “I am a bad friend”, “I am a lazy friend”, “I’m not good at keeping in touch with people”, “I can be selfish”, “I have a short temper”, “I anger quickly”, “I have a big heart”, “My friends are important to me”, “I don’t make friends easily” or “I have a large mouth”. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It is important to be awake enough, be present enough, centered enough to listen to what people are really saying and showing of their true self.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I learnt this the hard way.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Six adults and seven children staying on a house together for a summer break. The ages of the children range from 1 years old to 13 years of age. It is a hot summer, sun shining, no clouds and dry heat. The wonderful house is situated in a tiny river inlet which connects to a large river, with 3 families we have two boats that are used to waterski, fish, and simply enjoy a summer by the river.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It was explained on the first hour of arriving at the house that when the 1 year old sleeps no other children (or Adults) are allowed near the bedroom, just in case that baby is woken from her sleep. This rule was strictly enforced to the other six children. The children understood the rule and the other parents ensured that their children were kept quiet when the baby was sleeping. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The oldest girl becomes quite ill for being exposed to the summer heat and not drinking enough liquid. She suffers from heat stroke and the next day she spends as much time as she can sleeping, drinking and resting.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The oldest girl is finally asleep in the house and the other children have been kept occupied outside in a blow up pool. The baby is awake and is making a lot of noise, crying, screaming and carrying on. A 4 year old girl enters the house and starts calling out to her brothers. The mother of that child automatically tells the child to mind her manners as her friend is sleeping as she is ill.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: blue;">The mother of the one year old asks her friend why is there a need to be quiet, when it is explained that there is a child sleeping in the house, the mother of the one year old shrugs her shoulders and continues to play with the one year old</span>.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What struck me in that moment was the profound disrespect that I witnessed with that “shrug” and her facial expression. It was “I just don’t care if there is another sleeping child”. I was shocked, bewildered and angry for the disrespect that this woman displayed.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The memory of that shrug and facial expression will remain with me. I am not deliberately holding onto a negative memory and the way it made me feel because I want to keep negativity in my life. There was a moment in time just a moment between seeing the shrug and the rush of feelings when I saw her true self and knew then that my friend was no longer required in my life. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I hold onto that memory as an example of when to trust my true self, my heart that what I was seeing was the truth.</span></span></div>Marihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14324850286287202031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4878850902631813905.post-58409628364752920592014-02-25T17:54:00.000+11:002014-03-15T16:15:15.597+11:00A pause<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I am devouring anything and everything I can get my hands on to help understand what is the Law of attraction and how to bring more positivity into my life. Books, movies, audio tapes and youtube videos are my source of inspiration. I am watching youtube clips whilst I am working, listening and working away. When I hear a message that I need to take note I have this word document open that I write phrases. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This was one such phrase from an interview between Iyanla Vanzant and Oprah:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When you find yourself in a new situation or circumstance in life experience. Everything that requires healing is going to rush to the surface. If you don’t take a minute to breath to gather yourself to pray, you will do what you have always done. So you got to be clear enough, grounded enough, centred enough to say “How am I going to handle this, this time”. So the lesson is PAUSE.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What I find amazing is how the universe speaks to me directly. About 2 weeks ago I was working from home on a Tuesday and I am working closely with a lady in Sydney. I had been warned that this lady was little difficult to work with. I mentally shrugged off the concerns because I was now living the life on the secret path and was positive in all aspects of my life. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So I thought.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I was responsible for completing certain sections of a document we were both working on and I was doing a brilliant job. On this Tuesday I was happily working away as normal when this “difficult” person told me that she would be completing the same sections of the document but for a different vendor. I was shocked and felt my heart miss a beat.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">HELLO! BANG! SMACK! <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I sent a simple “ok” and tried to move on, because as I said I am walking the path of the secret and I am positive in all aspects of my life. My mind would not stop churning though and I decided to have a break and I went outside and sat on the step of the kid’s cubby house. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My thoughts kept coming and most of the were positive. I was congratulating myself on a great job of not reacting, of being the bigger person and staying positive and for not trying to control my work. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So here I am mentally patting myself on the back for a job well done, for ticking off the “Yes I am being positive card” when I see this tiny little butterfly, I will never forget that moment. This butterfly would've been the size of a 10 cent coin and it was a beautiful mauve colour with royal blue towards the body. It landed 30 centimeters from where I was sitting. It felt like the whole world had stopped in that moment. All thoughts of work and the “difficult” person left. So I paused, really paused and watched the butterfly flutter around my back yard.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><br /><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When I went back into my study and reread the conversation I had with the “difficult” person, I felt happy and gratitude, in that moment I knew just new that I had finally stepped on to the right path because instead of being hurt or questioning “why” or trying to control or cracking the shits. I truly let go and was grateful for the help.</span><o:p></o:p></div></div>Marihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14324850286287202031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4878850902631813905.post-81675496236561419902014-02-24T19:02:00.000+11:002014-03-15T16:15:15.602+11:00Missing piece?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Reading and watching “The Secret” has literally changed our lives, it teaches you to live positively and simply ask for “what you want”. Know that you are part of the universe actually it is more than that we have the same energy as the universe around us. “God / universe” is within us.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Reading “The Magic” has taught me to live in gratitude for everything that you have in your life. I haven’t finished reading the magic.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Daniela (my kinesiologist) recommended the Abundance 21 day course, where it has taught us how to remove the “clutter” that is within your house and within your life to make room for abundance and prosperity. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Peace from broken pieces has taught me that no matter where you are in your life, your past issues will always present themselves for healing. That the issues I am facing head on now are written in my DNA and were contracted before my birth.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It has been over a month since we watched “The Secret” I know this as Tim and I signed and dated the “The Secret cheque”. We are living with the law of attraction, everyday we give thanks to what we have.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I have to wonder though if there is something more than the law of attraction, not that I doubt that the universe will provide. I just have to wonder if our path is linked to being at peace with our lives. Tim said to me the other day “Until we get rid of all the negative relationships we have in our life, then the universe will not hear what we are asking”. For me this rings very true!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I have to wonder if “the secret” team are aware that the law of attraction is not enough on its own. That someone has to be open to receive, that the person has healed or is healing the past blockers. If it is in the movie and the book then it didn’t get through.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><br /><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But it will now. I am so happy, bursting with joy all because I know my worth and have cut negative influences out of my life.</span><o:p></o:p></div></div>Marihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14324850286287202031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4878850902631813905.post-49707400576312920692014-02-23T09:22:00.000+11:002014-03-15T16:15:15.607+11:00Books, books and more books<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My husband’s best friend’s first girlfriend introduced the love of books to me, when she recommended that I read a Sci-Fi fantasy series. I was hooked and fell in love! Oprah when she first started her book club always said that you give a book 50 pages. There have been books that I have purchased from my favourite author read the first 50 pages and put them down. But generally I know what genre of books I like so it is rare that I read one that I don’t like.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My book shelf was overflowing and I even had many boxes of books in the shed when I bought myself a kindle, from bonus cash cards received from my employer for a job well done. I love my kindle, I have 188 books on there and I have read about 70% of them. I still occasionally by paperback books but mostly they are on my kindle.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I started of reading Sci-Fi fantasy about the worlds of magic, dragons, dwarfs, elves and humans. Then moved onto magicians and time travel, I was heavily pregnant with the twins when a dear friend of mine lent me the Twilight saga. They were my saving grace, my escape from the pain and discomfort of Braxton –hicks and generally being pregnant with Twins. When Jordy was at child care I would be camped on the couch getting lost in those books.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">That introduced me to the love of Young Adult Sci-fi, I still read adult sci-fi but my love is now YA. Most times I have 2 books on the go, one for the train and one for when before I go to sleep, which is usually some historical romance novel that I have purchased. I have always felt embarrassed about admitting to reading historical romance/romance, perhaps because it does have details sex scene that if filmed would be classed as porn. I just loved a well written story that makes me feel.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When 50-shades of grey came out and I didn’t understand what all the hype about that book was about because I have certainly read more graphic exploits over the years. I saw past all the sexual details to the real story which was what kept me reading the whole series. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In the past 2 years I have read “Self-help” books, and spiritual books. I have spoken about reading “The Secret” and “The Magic”. Yesterday afternoon I finished reading “Peace from broken pieces” by Iyanla Vanzant, I have another post about an insight that is forming in my mind.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My mother was and still is an avid reader but she was not allowed to teach me to read when I was a child due to her strong Hungarian accent. I know that I have inherited the love of books from her; it is a shame though that someone other than my mother first gave me a book and said “here try this”.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><br /><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I am passing the passion onto my kids but this time I am breaking the cycle of neglect and sitting with Jordan (eventually Rylie and Lilly) to listen and be part of his journey with the written word. </span><o:p></o:p></div></div>Marihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14324850286287202031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4878850902631813905.post-46759076884690729672014-02-19T15:44:00.000+11:002014-03-15T16:15:15.613+11:00Friendship…the last step?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I don’t remember the year, but I do remembeponse fr the circumstance. My Tim’s best friend was dating a girl. They started dating before I met my Tim, actually I met my Tim through his best friend. He was the catalyst for us being together.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I do remember that we were married at the time because I remember living in our house. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So my husband’s best friend was dating this girl and my friendship with this girl was weird. When I say weird, what I know now is that I would not have been friends with this girl if she was not dating My Tim’s best friend. We got along, we made lots of memories together but really we were friends that became that way because we were shoved into a group situation because we both loved men that were best friends.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">For some reason there was a falling out between this girl and myself. The reason for the fall out was obviously not important because I don’t remember it. What I do remember is that at the time, my Tim was still invited to his best friends place and he went a few times. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So with the falling out between this girl and I, not only did I lose that friendship, I lost the friendship of his best friend, but my Tim didn’t stand up for me. I was not invited, not allowed to go over to their place. For some reason I became the “bad” person.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Fast forward to 2005 and a very similar situation occurred. This time my Tim’s best friend was dating another girl and we had a falling out over DVD’s. The difference with this girl was that I feel in love with her. I just loved her honesty, her sense of humour and her heart. We didn’t speak for a year, the girl and I (over DVD’s), even after I had helped her find the location for their wedding, I researched places, booked appointments with reception halls. Spent weekends driving her around to all the places. I did all that because I loved my friend. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So when we didn’t talk for a year it hurt me, but I always had faith that one day maybe one day we would work our way together and that faith paid off because we did come back together and the past 8 years was filled with happiness, joy, celebration and wonderful memories.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">During the time that the “wives” were not talking, my Tim was again still invited to visit his best friend because he needed help moving house and once again I was the “bad” person, because I was again not allowed to visit and I was not invited over to their place.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>When you know better you do better!</b><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What I know now is that I allowed myself to be the “bad” person, because I didn’t believe in my self-worth and because I didn’t believe my husband didn’t believe, so he didn’t see anything wrong with still going over to be with his friend and leaving me alone. Even at the time I didn’t see anything wrong with it either, because I didn’t know any better.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This past Christmas break we went away together to a wonderful place. The trip should’ve been joyful like it had always been. But the seams had started to unravel, because I was stepping into myself worth. There was an incident during our trip where my friend accused my Tim and I for not looking after her child. For allowing her child to go hungry, her child was continuing to only ask for her mother and my Tim and I were busy looking after our own 3 children. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My Tim started to argue with her and it could’ve escalated to something significant. But I put a stop to it, at the time I was attempting to just keep the peace as this was the second day of a 7 day trip. Now I know different.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The universe continued to show me signs, whispers as they say. I just didn’t get it because I was not open to it.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Our trip ended up being stressful but also at the same time wonderful because the kids enjoyed themselves. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; "><br></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; ">Later in January this on Facebook my friend posted this picture:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-opt8ypjsRi8/UwQ2crcwluI/AAAAAAAABeo/fkHhRvbrt1c/s1600/Friends.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-opt8ypjsRi8/UwQ2crcwluI/AAAAAAAABeo/fkHhRvbrt1c/s1600/Friends.JPG" height="187" width="320"></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br></span></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It is a wonderful positive affirmation and the words are very true. At the time my instinctive knew, I just knew in my gut that she did not post that thinking of me. So what do I do? I thought that I was being cheeky in saying “Yes this is you and me”. How wrong was I, that </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I didn't listen to that voice! I got no response for that message.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>When you know better you do better!</b><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yesterday my friend decided to not come over to our place to celeraate the twins birthday, simply because she was dieting. Sure my initial invite was for a BBQ, but that is beside the point. The reason being given to NOT celebrate my twins birthday was because they were on a diet they didn’t want to come over.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">NOW<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This finally was unacceptable for me. For her the diet was more important than coming over and celebrating my twins 5<sup>th</sup> birthday and because now I know my self-worth and because now I am awake and on the righteous path. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yesterday many text messages were exchanged and I am so grateful for my lesson learnt. I sent <i>“What is typical is your continued belief that this treatment is acceptable.”</i> She sent <i>“Why are you like this? I feel like I can’t win with you.”</i> My initial response to that message was <b><i>“Well I know that I will never be good enough for you”</i></b>. Just that thought…that thought that I know that I will never be good enough for her was my biggest moment and this has me so very excited. I do know my worth and I am worthy of a fulfilling friendship and I am worthy of being a cherished friend, simply because I am me. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My dear Tim decided to step in and take responsibility, my initial reaction yesterday was “NO…NO NO NO I don’t want to be the “bad” person any more”. I began to realise that I had allowed this situation to occur. RIGHT then I remembered the times that this occurred with my Tim’s best friends girlfriend/wife and that my husband did not respect me enough to stand up for me. This was not the fault of my Tim, this was my own self-worth screaming at me. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So my Tim called his best friend and let him know that this treatment from his wife is no longer acceptable and that we would no longer be going away with them.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now if that is not proof of his love me for then I don’t know what is! My Tim was willing to break a 20+ year friendship all because NOW I know my true worth.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><br><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Part of me is sad but I am not debilitated from the loss of this friend. I am grateful for the friendship but more importantly I am grateful that I know my worth.</span><o:p></o:p></div></div>Marihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14324850286287202031noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4878850902631813905.post-1578593176797001892014-02-17T15:21:00.000+11:002014-03-15T16:15:15.619+11:00Money<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My relationship with money is the goal for 2014. Improving our relationship with money will be an easy journey but one of enlightenment.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I am excited, happy and blessed with this time in my life! I am bursting at the seams with gratitude for my life lessons and with gratitude with right now.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So I recently completed 3 years of company finances for my husband’s company. I learnt something so profound that it has been a few days to process before I could really write about it.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Our belief was that 2012 & 2013 was a constant struggle for us. We lived pay cheque to pay cheque, I dodged calls from banks, creditors and just lived in thought that we were struggling. It even got that bad that just this past Christmas I didn’t even have enough money to buy the food for Christmas Day; my darling mother not only came to my house for Christmas day but bought all the food that we ate. I didn’t even have enough money to buy food for our holiday from 26<sup>th</sup> December to 2<sup>nd</sup>of January 2014. My mother gave me that money also.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So here is my rock bottom, Christmas 2013 I had a Christmas tree with gifts for all my kids. I was traveling away for a week with friends to a beautiful place with no money. None. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What I have learnt over the last month is that our belief that we were struggling became true.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">BUT<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This is the biggest BUT and this is what I learnt when I finally did the Company finances, we were not struggling; the amount of money coming into and out of our house was and continues to be substantial. We never struggled, we never had struggled. When I say substantial I am saying that in a financial year we spent over $171K on various things. That is no small amount of money and that is all money that had come into our house, this was not credit as our credit card had been cancelled due to being over the limit. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We never went without fresh milk or fresh bread. We all had enough clothing. We had various holidays, weekends away. My kids’ activities were provided, the boys did AUSKICK, Lilly did dancing and they all went swimming. Child Care was paid for (late but paid). School fees were paid again late but paid. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In our minds Tim and I thought that we had no money. We struggled; we lived pay cheque to pay cheque. We have bad credit. Learning from the secret was that you say you are struggling with money the universe says “Your wish is my command”. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I was astounded with the raw figures. As a Business Analyst I am used to analysing figures and raw data and they never lie. NEVER.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><br /><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I am grateful to “The Secret” and I am grateful for my lesson learnt and I am thankful for the raw figures, because they never lie and the truth is that we didn’t struggle we never have. What we are is wealthy and prosperous! </span><o:p></o:p></div></div>Marihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14324850286287202031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4878850902631813905.post-15356770554452252182014-02-07T15:43:00.000+11:002014-03-15T16:15:15.624+11:00Day 3 Magical Relationships<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><h4 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Tibi</span></h4><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ym5mPmVAU0E/UvRjg_qma3I/AAAAAAAABao/gD7Ha-5aDTU/s1600/Tibi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ym5mPmVAU0E/UvRjg_qma3I/AAAAAAAABao/gD7Ha-5aDTU/s1600/Tibi.jpg" height="217" width="320" /></a></div><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><ol style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thank you for being in my husband, because you have always accepted me as I am and love me unconditionally</span></li><li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thank you for your brutal honesty, because it always provides me wisdom when I need it the most</span></li><li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thank you for your child-like excitement, because it brings so much happiness to our lives</span></li><li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thank you for being my partner in life, because you support me to work full time</span></li><li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thank you for being an awesome father to our children, for they are truly blessed to have you there as comfort and support.</span></li></ol><h4 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Anyu</span></h4><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-L3PfOO_oy2M/UvRj832-w2I/AAAAAAAABaw/vvQATaNb3h0/s1600/Anyu.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-L3PfOO_oy2M/UvRj832-w2I/AAAAAAAABaw/vvQATaNb3h0/s1600/Anyu.jpg" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><ol style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thank you for being my mother, I am truly blessed that I picked you because you love me unconditionally</span></li><li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thank you for all your support, without you working fulltime is eased.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thank you for coming to help at a moment’s notice because I know that you will always be there to support me</span></li><li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thank you for your golden heart, because you have provided me with the tools to aspire to.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thank you for your love because my childhood was rich with your abundance of love</span></li></ol><o:p></o:p><br /> <div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div></div><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Zsuzsi</span></h4><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-GmfcXi6mTdU/UvRkQmdPNkI/AAAAAAAABa4/J6vYu4NuI6k/s1600/Zsuzsi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-GmfcXi6mTdU/UvRkQmdPNkI/AAAAAAAABa4/J6vYu4NuI6k/s1600/Zsuzsi.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div><div><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><ol style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thank you for your friendship, I am truly blessed to have you in my life</span></li><li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thank you for holding my hand when I was upset when I lost my babies, your support was what got me through some tough times</span></li><li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thank you for your laugh, because it always brings me joy</span></li><li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thank you for your big heart because I know that you are always there for me</span></li><li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thank you for your acceptance because it has always given me the courage to be my true self with you.</span></li></ol><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span><br /> <div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div></div>Marihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14324850286287202031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4878850902631813905.post-81538840043155479482014-02-03T16:57:00.000+11:002014-03-15T16:15:15.630+11:0018 Years<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Nearly forgot to mention that it is our 18 year Wedding Anniversary today.</span><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I am truly blessed to have my husband in my life.</span></div>Marihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14324850286287202031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4878850902631813905.post-39713877859789128792014-02-03T16:55:00.000+11:002014-03-15T16:15:15.635+11:00Throw away stone<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I struggle with negative thoughts, I am sure that most of you do, here is what a new friend told me to do, and the beautiful Daniela expanded the ritual for me: </span><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 18.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;"><br /><ol style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Find a common rock, pebble, stone whatever appeals to you</span></li><li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sit down in a quiet place</span></li><li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Breath deeply in and out</span></li><li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hold the rock in your hand and concentrate on the negative thought.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Focus that negative thought into the rock – for me I imagined all the negative thoughts and feels associated was gathered in a black cloud and then I imagined that cloud moving from my head down my arm into my hand and then eventually into the rock. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">On</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">ce you feel as though all the negative vibes of that person or event has gone, then place the rock in water.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Go to the garden with the water in the rock and firstly thank the water for absorbing the energy and then sprinkle the water onto a plant</span></li><li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Take the rock out and place it in the garden, whilst thanking the rock for taking the negative energy away from you. </span></li></ol></div><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You need to repeat the above steps the same time every day for a month. I did this last night and I felt the rock getting really hot. It was amazing to feel. Now when I think of that person I do not feel anything. No despair, no sadness nothing.</span><br /><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><o:p></o:p></div></div>Marihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14324850286287202031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4878850902631813905.post-39497519439472878102014-01-31T15:59:00.000+11:002014-03-15T16:15:15.641+11:00Letting go of “How”<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I mentioned that I am reading “The Magic” and I know that it is already changing my life. Before I started “The Magic” I had read and watched “The Secret”. My husband and I are adopting the messages received from “The Secret” and I know that our lives will forever be changed. In the 2 weeks since reading and watching “The Secret” we are more positive and happy.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I am so grateful for the life that I have.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We used “The secret cheque” to nominate the amount of money we want from the universe, which is great right? Yes it should be. My problem is that I am trying to figure out “how” we will receive the amounts that we have nominated. So what do I do? I by a Powerball ticket, assuming that I will win the amounts. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Instead of simply trusting in that the universe will provide.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I know that the universe will provide because it has in the past, when trying to conceive my 2<sup>nd</sup> pregnancy, I was at a cross roads. I was unhappy at work and I wanted to have another baby in order for me to have a break from my previous employer.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But instead of looking for a job or rushing into fertility treatment, I took the time to ensure that my body and emotions were ready for a pregnancy with the help of another kinesiologist, most importantly I released my fears and let the universe provide. What happened? Well I fell pregnant with twins and I received a redundancy package that supported my family for a year. The universe really did provide for me then.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So today dear universe I release the “how”, I know that you have provided me what I needed and I trust in you to provide what I want now.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I am open to receive all that you are putting in my path.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You know what we want because it is plastered all over my bedroom.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"> <span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In the short term what I want is to have $10,000.00 by the 28<sup>th</sup> February in order to catch up on our bills. I don’t know how this will be achieved and I will not speculate because I believe that the universe will provide.</span></span></div></div>Marihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14324850286287202031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4878850902631813905.post-42481588198153408722014-01-30T16:35:00.000+11:002014-03-15T16:15:15.648+11:00My list of dreams<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I have started reading "The Magic" and here is my list of dreams (so far):</span><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br /><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Health and body<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I am 76kg and a size 12. I am flexible and can touch my toes. I am able to put nail polish on my toes with ease. My hormones are in balance and I have a regular period. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Minimal grooming of eyebrows is the thing that is only required. I have clear skin. I am able to kneel down without pain. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I am energised, light and have a bounce in my step.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Perfect eyesight<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Perfect digestion<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Perfect weight<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Career and work<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here is my dream job description:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">· <!--[endif]-->Senior Business Systems Analyst ( I truly love what I do)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">· <!--[endif]-->Wage = $250,000.00 per annul<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">· <!--[endif]-->Working Full Time (flexible hours)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 72.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">o <!--[endif]-->2 days at home<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 72.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">o <!--[endif]-->3 days in the office<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">· <!--[endif]-->I travel nationally and internationally for work once per quarter.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Money<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We have $3,000,000.00<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The money is distributed between Investment properties, investment shares, term deposit and cash. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Relationships<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I am surrounded by love. The relationships in my life are nurturing. The people that are in my life want to be with me.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Personal Desires<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We own are new house which is 29-30 Lansell Close Narre Warren South Vic 3805<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We have 5 investment properties. One for each member of the family. 60 The Boulevard in one of them. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We have a holiday house.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Material Things<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I drive a new car, the Nissan x-trail. <o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br /><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We own a boat. </span><o:p></o:p></div></div>Marihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14324850286287202031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4878850902631813905.post-32335299669216986622014-01-29T13:15:00.000+11:002014-03-15T16:15:15.653+11:00Abundance<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 21.333332061767578px; text-align: justify;">The only reason any person does not have enough money is because they are blocking money from coming to them with their thoughts. Every negative thought, feeling or emotion is blocking your good from coming to you, and that includes money. It is not that the money is being kept from you by the Universe, because all the money you require exists right now in the invisible. If you do not have enough, it is because you are stopping the flow of money coming to you, and you are doing that with your thoughts. You must tip the balance of your thoughts from lack-of-money to more-than-enough-money. Think more thoughts of abundance than of lack, and you have tipped the balance. </span></span></div>Marihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14324850286287202031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4878850902631813905.post-12860348985866702482014-01-09T16:56:00.000+11:002014-03-15T16:15:15.657+11:00Frank Antal<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">You were more than my brother in law. You were my brother. </span><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Rest in Peace Frank, you are now with Ildi my sister.</span><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">16/06/1958 to 9/01/2014</span></div>Marihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14324850286287202031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4878850902631813905.post-35993217444065247502013-12-20T11:42:00.000+11:002014-03-15T16:15:15.662+11:00Ildiko Antal - My sister<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">3/10/1958 to 7/12/2013:</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">My Eulogy:</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>For those that do not know me my name is Maria and I am Ildiko’s younger sister. When I received the shocking news that Ildiko had passed away, I couldn’t believe it Ildi was only 55 years old and she had so much life left to live. On that fateful day when I was driving over to see Frank and the girls I had an overwhelming sense that I would be standing in front of you all talking about my sister. Ever since then I have been plagued day and night with random sentences of what I would say today. <o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Nothing could have ever prepared me to write this Eulogy, so I turned to the only source that could perhaps guide me on the appropriate words to say. Yes I googled. I was immediately bombarded with various examples and more information that I could handle.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>In the past 2 weeks I have re-written this Eulogy many times even today, I started documenting Ildi’s life chronologically, but somehow that didn’t seem right. I then started to a last letter to my sister, but that was not right either.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Instead I put on some Hungarian music that I know that she loved and let Ildi guide my fingers on the key board. <o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Firstly I like to thank all of you for coming here today and even though today is tragic and a day that we will never forget. I hope that everyone here hold can hold their heads high. Ildi would have wanted us to celebrate her life and be strong for Frank and her two beautiful daughters. <o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>I have so many wonderful memories of my sister. My brother and I were indeed blessed to have an older sister like Ildi. Even though there was 17 years between us and she was married and moved away, she was still so much part of our childhood and she was always there for me. Like the time when Ildi used her day off from work to take me out for a fun day of shopping when I was having a difficult time at school. <o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Growing up I used to get teased that Ildi was not my real sister that she was my “half-sister”. This would hurt me deeply because in my heart she was my sister, there was nothing half about it. I was always so proud that I had an older sister and I idolised her. <o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Ildiko lost her father tragically through a car accident at the tender age of 3, it would be 10 years later that once again her life would change drastically, when my mother remarried and she was adopted by my Father. <o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>At the age of 14 Ildiko immigrated Australia. As a shy girl that knew no English she started at High School at Camberwell High. Our father told me that he will never be able to forget feeling guilty for having to leave lldi at school that very first day, I mean here was his new daughter being left at a school where she had no friends and did not speak the language, no wonder our father cried all the way back to the car.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>This however did not phase Ildiko, she took every situation in her stride and met every challenge head on. I believe that it was through her early childhood experiences that made her the strong woman that many of you came to know and cherish, I know I did.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Ildiko loved learning and she thrived at being a student. Within 3 years of arriving in Australia, Ildi finished high school and commenced working fulltime at the Egg board in Port Melbourne whilst studying part time to become a Laboratory Technician and then she further studied to become a qualified Microbiologist. We should not have been surprised when Ildi after serving 25 years at Farm Pride Eggs she went back to school to further her education in a completely different field and fulfil her lifelong dream of becoming a nurse.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Ildi taught me that “There is never a stupid question, that you ask as many questions as you need in order to find the answers you are seeking.” So I did, I asked my questions to help learn and grow as an individual. Would you believe that at work I am known to always ask questions, to the point where recently I was told jokingly that I ask too many questions? <o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>I learnt how to be an awesome mother from my sister. I was 14 years old when Ellie was born and I think I almost lived there on the weekends. I am still surprised that Frank and Ildi didn’t change the locks on me as I was over the all the time. I learnt how to change nappies, feed, bath and care for a child. More importantly I learnt how to shower a child with love. <o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>To me Ildi was the poster woman for a Super Mum, she worked full time, raised two beautiful girls, had a life outside of work, knew what it meant to have work life balance, and eventually she studied part time.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>I’m sure like most of you will always remember Ildi’s dinner parties. It was rare that a month go by where we didn’t go over to Ildi’s house in Ferntree Gully for dinner. I learnt how to prepare for an event, how play Gin Rummy and Hungarian Cards, and more importantly I learnt how to ensure that guests felt welcome and comfortable.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i> We always knew that there would be a feast at Ildi’s and her cooking rivalled even our mothers. But I always secretly looked forward to her Pavlova. Ildi made the best Pavlova I have ever had. Later in life after I had married and would host an event at my place and I would always ask Ildi to make her Pavlova. How much am I going to miss that Pavlova!<o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>I don’t want to paint the picture that our relationship was always rosy, every family have their difficulties and I can’t help feel robbed that the last 6 years of Ildi’s life we had become estranged. A dear friend recently reminded me of this. We will never have the chance to bridge the gap in our relationship and this continues to fill me with regret. However those differences and hard feelings do not seem important now as I know my sister loved me and I loved her dearly. Frank you were right things could’ve been a lot worse. <o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Even through her death Ildi is still teaching me important life lessons, like family and those that are considered as family are more important than any petty differences you may have. That living life with love and forgiveness of family, friends and oneself is better than holding onto the past. So I choose to remember Ildi the way we were in the photo’s that you will see, sisters, friends, family.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Was Ildi perfect? No she wasn’t, no one is and more importantly neither am I. But she was the prefect wife to Frank, perfect daughter to our dear mother, perfect mother to her girls and a perfect sister to Joseph and I.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Will we miss her? Beyond a shadow of a doubt, she will be dearly missed.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>It is cruel that Ildi was taken from her the love of her life Frank so suddenly and from her beautiful daughters. Ellie, Tina, Ildi may not be with you physically on your wedding day, or when you welcome your children into the world. But she will always be with you in spirit and if you need to see her then all you have to do is look in the mirror and see her within both of you.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Ellie, you have Ildi’s eyes, her strength. Tina you have her flamboyant curious spirit. Your mother is within you, and you will never be truly alone.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Goodbye my dear sister, may you rest in peace, look down from heaven above and know that you will forever be in our hearts.</i></span></span></div></div>Marihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14324850286287202031noreply@blogger.com0