Happy 6 Months

Dear Jordan

Recently I've been so aware of negative comments. I grew up with negative comments, even the other day I was trying to show Papa something outside and all he could comment about was how dirty the furniture was outside. It is outside furniture...for a reason. Even though you are 6 months old I am concsious of what I say to you as I don't want you to have low self esteem like I did (and still do).

The other day at your cousin's Birthday party I heard a mother saying to her little girl...that she was the only child making mess and to stop being such a pig. Now the little girl may not fully understand the words, but she would understand the tone. This little scene just re-enforced my 'protectiveness' against negativity. I personally didn't see anything wrong with the mess, we were outside there were many kids crawling around and clothes can be washed.

I don't want you to get the impression that there is anything negative to say about you...as there is not...you could sleep more during the day...but you don't that is just how you are. Comparing you to the other kids in our little mothers group, there are things that they do that you are yet to master..like sitting properly and crawling. But you will get there in your own time, and I know for sure that you do things that they don't do yet....like talking...you are very vocal each week you work on a new sound...this week it is DARTH VADER sound...so cute.

I'm trying really hard to stop the circle of criticsim as still to this day even a look from my mother can almost make me start getting nervous and anxious.

You are a baby who is learning things, there will be mess and mess can always be cleaned up. There will be spew (oh how much spew) but we can always change our clothes and wash them. Noise you are learning how to bang things and I sit there right with you and bang away. Why not it is fun!

We have mastered a lot together and worked out how things are just right for us, but there are still times when we make mistakes and I'm for ever worrying about your little feet getting cold...or you feeling cold.

I'm just about to pop open your next bottle...so here is to your next 6 months...let us hope that there are more smiles, giggles and laughter than tears for the next half year.

Love you with all my heart
Mummy

Stuff

Be careful what you wish for....there are things that maybe happening...things are being discussed that may..just may give us what I wished for...a chance to escape....but as it is just talk I'm not wanting to say too much.

Other than the above we are doing just wonderful...life at times still throws me for a sixer...I'm still in awe of my son...my lovely beautiful son.

Hopefully I will have more to tell you all about the thing that maybe happening.