Friday, 8 March 2013

Shift in focus

Shift in focus

For once I am not going to post about myself.  This blog started out documenting my journey to conceive my first child and then I came back to document my journey with conceiving my second (which turned out to be my twin pregnancy).

I have not written about the kids for a very long time.  My home life and my kids have been good in the recent months so there has not been anything to really try to work out here in my blog.  So instead of concentrating on trying to fix and shift the negativity from myself I am going to celebrate my kids!

I have just reviewed my previous posts about my kids and the same words have been used over and over, I will try to not repeat them yet again.


Jordy continues to be very sensitive and think that this is just him and he feels things very deeply (wonder where he got that from?). For example, if he wants to play with Rylie or Lilly and they don’t want to play with him.  Jordy will often take this to heart and will say to me “Mummy, no one wants to play with me”, whilst crying.

There is a love / hate relationship between Rylie and Jordy, they love each other fiercely but they also have enormous large fights.  Often we are just being referees to the “BOYS”. 

Jordy has grown very close to my husband and loves spending time together.  During school holidays he will often go with my husband in the “Big Truck”.  I miss my little boy though and have made sure that I spend time with him one on one.  Jordy loves sports and believes that he is a complete expert on Footy (AFL), even though we only really got into the sport as a family last year.

I have many photo’s of Jordy when he was a toddle sitting with piles and piles of books surrounding him; however surprisingly Jordy has quickly been able to grasp the concepts of mathematics easier than he has for reading books and writing.  But everday he is getting better and as parents my husband and I take turns to encourage him to read as much as possible.


We call him Rylie as a nick name.  Such a reserved little man Rylie has grown into, he is also sensitive but doesn’t show his emotions as easily as his siblings do.  The other night Tim went and checked up on the boys as they share a room and found Rylie out of bed. He started to scold him for being out of bed, Rylie couldn’t explain to Tim why he was out of bed. So my husband gave him a little tap on the bum.

As I heard the smack I hobbled down (I have recently twisted my ankle really badly) to their room and find out what happened.  I found Rylie getting into bed and as I sat on his bed and touched him and gave him a cuddle he burst into tears.  I attempted to ask why he was out of bed and he was finally able to tell me through his heart wrenching sobs that he was getting a blankie for his older brother.  Just that morning I had done the washing and Rylie had helped me with getting all the kids blankies to wash.  Rylie was so hurt that Daddy scolded him for doing something that was not wrong.
Needless to say Tim felt really guilty when Rylie came out and explained why he was out of bed.

This is how sensitive Rylie and shows how he tries to hide his feelings.  I am the only one he really shows them to, perhaps it is because I approach him with compassion and am always cuddling him.

Rylies worst fear is being left on his own.  If the three of them are playing in the back yard and Jordy and Lilly come inside for some reason Rylie will become hysterical and would scream the back yard down.  In a recent visit with the Kinesiologist we checked in with Rylie to see where that fear came from…can you guess where? Yep from me (but that will be a whole other post).

To help reassure my son that I would never intentionally leave him I had to do some deep reflection and I also took him aside, he and I laid on his bed and I proceeded to explain to him that basically I am at fault and I love him too much to leave him.  We haven’t checked to see if this has worked for him but I hope that one day he will be able to spend time on his own without that overwhelming fear he was experiencing.

Rylie is our sports man, give him any type of sport equipment and he wields it like a pro.  He took to swimming like a fish, it is so cute to watch him dive into the pool and duck dive under the water.  Unfortunately he is still a little too young to join the Junior Football club with his big brother but he only has to wait a year.

I do have some concerns with Rylie being ready for Primary school. One of the things I learnt when attending the “Are you kids ready for School” seminar before Jordy went to school was to gauge if the child has the ability to express his feelings when upset.  Even when wailing can your child explain to the Teacher what happened and what made them upset.

Rylie doesn’t do that yet, the other day my mother (she looks after the twins a day each week) asked him what he wanted to breakfast and because my mother didn’t hear him very well she gave him Weetbix.  Rylie sat there staring at the plate for 10 minutes not saying a word.  He has done this with us also just sitting there in silence until we try to figure out what is going on with him.  Usually it is one look from me and I am able to work out what is going on.  We are trying to help him to “use his words”.


I have no idea where to start with Lilly and what to say that has not already been said before.  When I think of my daughter I think of “Love personified”.  She is LOVE in a tiny girl’s body; she showers everyone she meets with love from her heart.

The other day I had a very high fever and was not well at all, I was in the shower and Lilly came in and just stood there I told her to go but she refused.  As I stepped out of the shower and helped dry my legs. I was telling her that I would be going for a little sleep and her response was “I want to tuck you in Mummy”.  That is exactly what she did, she put me to bed, tucked me in and climbed up into the bed next to me and proceeded to stroke my forehead.  She could feel how hot I was getting so she got under the covers and cuddled me to get better.  How cute is that?

Once she saw that I was drifting off to sleep she quietly slipped out of bed and closed my curtains and door, every 5-10 minutes I would hear the door open and see her little face look over at me.  She was checking up on me to see if I was ok. This is my daughter, she cares deeply for everyone and is especially attached to me.

Everyone that meets Lilly instantly falls in love with her.  I introduced Lilly to Ambarish and they forged a very tight bond.  While Lilly allows others to hold her, if Ambarish is there she will go to him first. We took the family into the city to celebrate an Indian festival of Diwali which the kids loved hearing the different music and learning how to dance.   My greatest memory is that the first time Lilly ever saw fireworks was whilst being held in Ambarish’s arms.  She was squeezing his head so tight from the loud noise, a cherished memory indeed.

Lilly loves to dance and I started her in a class last year but for some reason either she didn’t like to the place, teacher or the kids.  Not sure because she refused to go.  However she knows all the top 10 songs playing on the radio and sings along to them all.  In movies if there is music playing she will get up off the couch and proceed to dance. 

Her prized possession is any dress that twirls when she spins, as these dresses “they work mummy”. She is such an easy going girl, sensitive and loves to cuddle but is just such a joy to have. 

I am certainly blessed to have these kids and need to appreciate them more than I do! 

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