I don't know how you do it

This has been said to so many times, that I’ve just taken to shrugging this comment off. What can I say to that? Not much!

I’ve had friends that try to sympathise with me by saying that they struggle with only having one child and then they shake theirs heads and say “I don’t know how you do it with 3 kids”.

What I would like to say and have said:
- Its hard but you cope
- I don’t have a clean house, there are toys everywhere
- You just adapt and do it
- Your not going to let a child cry so you quickly learn to feed both babies at once
- I have a wonderful husband and great support from my Mum.

The reality is that there is not enough time in the day to do everything that needs to get done. I try to do laundry once a week, but it was hell with our small washing machine (have since purchased a larger one). Hanging the clothes out to dry is an accomplishment, bringing them in may take another week. Once inside it may not be put away. So sometimes we live out of the cleaned laundry basket.

I do cook dinner every night (once a week we have take away) and have learnt that the best meals for us are those that I can put in the oven to cook on its own; we use a timer to keep track of when we need to flip/stir/baste/whatever.

I now do my grocery shopping on-line and dearly thank my sister in law for convincing me it was the way to go. Where possible I also buy in bulk.

Cleaning the house suffers and I sometimes cringe at the thought of people coming into my home. I recently apologised to my dear friend LB about the state of my home and her reply was perfect “I came to visit you not your house”. I’ve learnt that there are friends who really don’t care what your house looks like, but then there are family that come in look around and sniff with disapproval; needless to say they don’t come over often. Ellie recently came over to look after the kids so that I could clean and she promptly said “You are not expecting Queen to come and you have 3 kids so relax”. But it is hard to relax when people come to visit, there is a social expectation that you house must be spotless.

We wash the dishes once a day, sure they pile up and it looks unsightly and honestly I could wash them when the twins sleep. But instead Jordy and I spend that sleep time with one on one play. We draw, play with playdo, do crafts, play board games, go out into the garden. Or I start preparing dinner. Living in Melbourne we are in a drought so I feel that only using water once a day (instead of every time a dish is used) is my way of being water conscious. As much dishes as possible is put into the dish washer, but large pots and pans I still wash by hand.

We are all clean and well fed, our clothes are clean (may not have been put away, but they are clean). We try to spend quality time with each of the kids, so my house is not the cleanest and I have dirty dishes on the counter. But at the end what will my children remember? A clean house with every dish staked away, clothes in the right place or the time Mummy and Daddy have spent with them?

This is the way “I do it” with 3 kids. It may not be the best way but it is my way of coping.