Running

The corridor is dimly light and I am running all along each side has doors every few meters. Next to each door are these beautiful ornate lights.  I would stand and admire them if I didn’t feel a great sense of urgency.  Instead I hardly notice them as I dash past.

It feels like I have been running for ages, my lungs are burning and my legs are in agony. But I feel that I just can stop.  Something is chasing me bearing down and I just have to keep running.

I reach the first door and I open it, there is someone standing there with their back to me. I recognise this person and as they start to turn around I slam the door shut and rush to the next one. Again as I turn the knob I see the same person standing in behind the door, but this time they are facing me but looking downwards, I notice that their head starts to rise and again I slam the door and run.

I decide to skip the next lot of doors and just keep running. Part of my mind wonders why this person is standing behind the doors; perhaps this is the person that I am running from.  The corridor seems to have no end and my fear continues to increase. 

The hairs on the back of my neck rise as I feel that whatever is pursing me is getting closer. My vulnerability increases. Adrenaline bursts through my vein which spurs me on and I somehow I get faster.

I rush to the next door I can see and the door swings open with a bang, I didn’t even know my strength. The same person is standing there and they jump and turn around at the sound of the door slamming.  Our eyes meet and shock registers on their face.  I start to back away from the threshold and turn and flee down the corridor.

“I didn’t close the door; oh no I didn’t close the door”.

Now I know that I am being chased for real and I am scared.  Somehow I my speed increasing I never knew that I could be this fast. Looming ahead of me is another door; this one seems different from the others. As soon as I reach it the door swings open at the touch of my hand on the handle.

The coast is clear and I enter the room just in as the person chase me is close. I turn around to see the door closing right in the face or my predator.  I face the room and lean against the door where I slowly slump to the floor, taking deep breaths the try to calm my racing heart.

I think that I am finally safe when the pounding of the door starts. I notice that the handle will not budge somehow this person is not being allowed into my safe haven.

The thirst is becoming unbearable and I can’t seem to get my breathing under control.  My heart is still pounding uncontrollably and I can hear my heart beat in my ears. I somehow get up and start to move around the room.  Thinking that I am safe, how wrong I was.

The door finally swings open and the person that I was running from rushes in, my legs are so unstable that I stumble and fall backwards.  This person that has been chasing is very quick and catches me before I hit the floor.

I am being held like a cherished child, I feel so weak all the strength is leaving my legs and arms.  I can’t even lift my arms.

“I will always catch you, I will always be here for you and I will never let you go”.

Somehow those words give me the strength I need to start fighting back.  The person does not expect me to fight and is taken by surprise and lets me go.  I fall to the floor now hurting my back in the proess. Shock registers in their eyes and as they reach out to me again I am pushing their hands away. I continue to fight with all my strength.

“Stop fighting me!” this person says as again they reach for me.

I feel like I am swatting bees as my hands just keep on slapping theirs way.  I am crying now and I can’t talk because I am so distressed.  I can’t even look at them in their eyes anymore as I’m concentrating on their hands. 

With a sigh the person leaning over me stops trying to touch me. Instead they sit down next to me making sure that they are keeping their distance.

“Talk to me, I am here now and always, please talk to me”

I’m avoiding their attempts to make eye contact and I refuse to say anything.

“Look at me, please look at me, I am here now”.

I feel their hand on my chin attempting to turn my head towards them.  All the fight has left me and I allow my face to be turned. I finally lift my eyes to meet theirs; the compassion, acceptance and love I see there undoes me and my eyes are swamped with a fresh batch of tears.

“You are worthy of all, I am here and will never leave you”

I nod my head and this person engulfs me in a warm embrace.  They lift me off the floor and place me in their lap like you would a wounded child. They hug me and rock me as the sobs rake through my body.

“I am here now and for always”.