Sunday, 2 December 2012

Are you gonna listen to your own advice?

I was bickering with my husband this afternoon because he had been in a feral mood for the past three to four days. I kept on asking him what was wrong because anything that the kids or I did would end up with him yelling.

Oh how I hate yelling and I hate seeing the expressions on the kids’ faces also when either I or my husband scolds, yells or raises our voice in anger.  The whole mood of the house felt black and gloomy.  I could feel that it was affecting me also.

I kept on pushing my husband to ask him what was wrong and finally he admitted that it was because I had been working late during the past 2 weeks. Work had been crazy and I had been helping out another team.  But I snapped and started yelling at him:

“Why are you thinking about this now?”
“It is in the past, just get over it”
“There is no reason for you to be holding onto this”

I understand his feelings, he was feeling frustrated because he was missing me. He was feeling abandoned because I had been spending a lot of time at work. He was feeling angry that I was bottling things up about work and not talking to him.

As I was yelling those words, at the exactly the same time I was thinking “Mari are you going to listen to your own advice?”

“Mari, why do you keep thinking about the same thing over and over again?”
“It is now in the past, just get over it”
“There is no reason for you to be holding onto these emotions”.

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