Yes that is me, I’m an unfit mother. According to my mother, father, mother in law, father in law, sister and yes my husband I’m an unfit mother. Or at least this is how they are all making me feel.
If my son cries just a little and brings his knees up to his chest…then his stomach is sore and I’m an unfit mother because I didn’t read the signs and did something about it, like shove chamomile tea down his throat. According to my mother in law and father in law. Jordan’s behaviour can’t be linked to the fact that he is pissed off and is kicking to get his point across…no HOW would I know that?
According to my mother, I’m unfit to be Jordan’s mum because he has developed a flat head on one side and it is my fault as I simply do not lay him on his side. Even though he hates being propped up on his side…as he gets too hot.
According to my father I’m shit parent because I sometimes hold Jordan whilst he is sleeping, hence spoiling him with my love and dare I say…comfort!
According to my sister I have no skills in trying to settle my screaming baby. She feels it is her right to try to snatch, grab and steal my child out of my arms…all because I’m an unfit mother.
According to my husband, I should leave Jordan screaming in his cot and allow him to cry himself to sleep, by going into his room and telling him that I’m there and that I love him and offer him a dummy, I’m ruining Jordan and making my own life difficult.
Also apparently I should take my son to see a GP or Paediatrician to get my baby checked out because of the following:
1) My baby cries
2) My babies stomach is sore
3) My baby may suffer a bit from wind
4) My baby throws up
5) My baby constantly sounds like he has a blocked nose
6) I’ve changed formula on my child with out professional help
7) My baby doesn’t like to sleep during the day
I feel like running, running away to be alone with my child. Packing Jordan up and just leaving. Now I know that I’m a good Mum, I’m just new to this job and both Jordan and I are feeling our way through things.
Yesterday became too much for me with all the things that have been said and done. I’m not constantly being told by these people these things but when you are on your own and you have a child that will only sleep on you and is crying for no reason then you can’t help but believe even if for one day that you are an unfit mother.
Mate, take the phone off the hook, put a 'No Visitors' sign on the door and ignore them all for as long as you can.
ReplyDeleteThey're crazy. You're the mother of your baby. That's how you know what's best for him and how to care for them. Your the best mum Jordan could ask for, remember that.
Mari, you are a beautiful Mother! You know in your heart that you are doing a great job! Your Family should respect you.
ReplyDeleteTell your Husband straight that you will NOT be letting Jordan cry himslef to sleep. Its your call, you are the primary caregiver. My husband always knew that I would always go to our children if they cried, and our 5 year olds are lovely little people who get complimented for their behaviour every where we go! It certainly didnt spoil them. Now with Oscar I go to him as soon as he cries and give him what he needs, food, cuddles or burping.
I also cuddle Oscar when he is asleep.. its beautiful, he smells wonderful, and its what Im here for! To love my children with all the fullness of my heart and soul!
Trust your instinct and love. :) As Kim said; YOU know whats best for your baby.
Hun I second everything the others have said. Are any of them Jordan's Mum? NO - you are and they should be supporting you as you all learn together. If they can't do that then they should bugger off and leave you alone. You are a fantastic Mum. I only hope I am half as good as you are (if I get the opportunity).
ReplyDeleteThe thing is that every child is different. It wouldn't matter if you were Mum of the year 15 times. Next baby you would still be finding your feet together and working out all the bits and pieces for that child. Jordan is gorgeous. He is putting on weight, is growing and changing, and all of that is due to you. If they do say anything just look them in the face and say "Are you his Mother? No - I didn't think so" and do what you think is best. after all - doing what you think is best is the only rule in parenting. Perhaps you could thank them for their advise (assvice) and ask that instead of offering advice, perhaps they could support you in the decisions you make for your son. Perhaps then you would feel more comfortable being able to discuss with them any things you are not sure of rather than not doing that so you don't get preached to.
We support you hun.
p.s. I find it uselful to put my hands over my ears, start humming loudly and saying "I am not listening" over and over in my head when someone starts on the assvise. hehe if nothing else it throws them off and they usually stop talking (Ha - you laugh, but I actually have been known to do this).