Wednesday, 25 April 2012

Difference between “Need” and “Want”

One of my kid’s favourite movies is Nanny McPhee and we watched about a month ago and I have seen this movie time and time again yet this time her famous quote stayed with me. “When you need me but do not want me, then I must stay. When you want me but no longer need me, then I have to go. It's rather sad, really, but there it is.”

I will not be talking about leaving in this same sense as detailed here but I have been thinking a lot about the differences between “Need” and “Want”.

I have been working with this Client for the past 16 months and whilst I still love the work that I am doing, I am feeling a little under appreciated.  I have been struggling with this whole placement for a little while because I would like to make in impact, add some value to this Client and I really do not think that I have been given an opportunity to realise my aspirations.

Recently I was asked to help out my old team and this was not the first time that I have been asked to go in a clean-up others messes. This time though I was feeling very disillusioned because I had the feeling that my old team “needed” me but they did not necessarily “want” me. This thought has kept me up at night, mainly because I don’t know how I feel about this realisation.

I went onto thinking about “needing” and “wanting” people in my life.

Need – When you Google need you can find all sorts of definitions on the word.  For the purposes of this post I found this one close to what my take on it is: “A physiological or psychological requirement for the well-being of an organism”

Want – The definition for the word “want” is simpler “to wish, crave, demand, or desire

I also then asked some of my friends whether they “needed” our friendship or they “wanted” it.  For me either answer would’ve been good and it was not a test, I was just asking to hear about their views.

Most of the people in my life, I both need and want them.   I have the psychological requirement to have them in my life and I also desire and crave the time I can spend with each person that is important to me.

A very dear friend of mine replied the following to me: “Both "need" and "want" are words that can come with the hidden feelings of demand and I believe that by having a true friendship it should have no demands. In a real true friendship there is either need nor want only purity”

How beautiful is that?

I loved it and I promised my friend that I would not mention them by name here.  But I absolutely loved this…there should never been need or want only purity!

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