10pm – I’m talking to my brother in law about the surgery that will take place the next day. Oh No…the pain is starting. I get off the phone and take some pain killers and walk around the house. Tim is in the shower, I gingerly tell him that the pain has started.
Wait 30 minutes….no change…shit. Call my in-laws (who live very close to us). “Can you please come over, now I need to go to the hospital, my body just couldn’t wait the extra night for the surgery”.
11pm to 1am - I’m in the Emergency department where I’ve been stabbed in both arms to get an IV going and been given pethidine for the pain…I didn’t like it one bit. I send Tim home to our baby.
7am - I buzz for the nurse asking for breakfast…no I’m not allowed as I’m having surgery today. Fuck…can I have a drink of water…no…you are on fluids anyway to help hydrate your body. Can I have a fucking shower…yes…ok.
Tim comes in with Jordan whom promptly decides to crack the shits…I settle him and he sleeps on the bed. I’m still hooked up to the IV.
1pm – The surgeon comes in…hahaha how funny that your body couldn’t wait the extra night…all the more reason to have it taken out.
“When am I going to have the surgery?”
“Around 5 or 6 o’clock”
Not really impressed but start the whole waiting game…I hate waiting. 6pm I get told that they are ready for me. Finally!!! I have these stockings put on my legs to stop ‘deep vain thrombosis (DVT)’ forming’ and then get wheeled to the waiting area. I felt so alone, so very alone and I’m nervous as hell. I fight to keep the tears in as I’m waiting there.
More weird things are put on my legs…a plastic cover with tubes..I was to discover later that once this things is hooked up to a pump and would constrict and retract to cause pressure in my legs…a preventative measure of DVT.
6:30 – I’m finally wheeled into theatre and see the anaesthetist. “You will be put to sleep now”
Voices so many loud voices…SHUT UP…YOU ARE SO FUCKING LOUD!
“Oh they don’t know I’m awake…SHIT…SHIT…I can’t move”
“OK Mari shake your head…no it didn’t work…FUCK….shake your head and arms…no nothing…..ok breath deeply…try your legs…FUCK!!!! HELLO I’M HERE SHUT UP…LOOK I’M HERE…try your head again…I think it worked…I felt my head move a little”…then blackness
I wake....Oh there is my Mimi, his eyes are red and his face is pale. I try to speak but I can’t. “Why is there a tube in my mouth” I point at it.
“Your OK Mari, your in ICU, Jordan is with my parents, I love you.”
Tears are running down my face “I love you too, where am I, what happened, why am I in ICU”. But I can’t say any of this I touch I grab his hand and touch his face….blackness
I wake again…oh there is Anyu (my mother)…I point at thing in my mouth.
“No sweetheart you can’t have that removed…in the morning we will take it out” A nurse says to me.
“How am I meant to talk…I want to talk…” I motion with my hand that I want to write, I’m given a pen and a piece of paper.
I write something and give it to Anyu “I can’t understand what you are writing”
I try again “WHAT HAPPENED?”
Blackness again…Anyu is still there I grab her hand and fall back asleep. I wake again and point to my mouth.
“no honey in the morning not now, are you thirsty?”
I nod a cotton bud with water is dripped in my mouth…tears are running down my face…I have never tasted water so sweet before…blackness.
Anyu is talking to the nurse. “I’m staying till about 8pm”, I look at the clock it is 6pm, I’m still holding my Mums hand.
I indicate that I want to write again…the nurse laughs affectionately at how I close one eye to focus on what I’m writing. I ask again “What happened”
“There was a complication with the surgery, but you are ok now”.
I sleep again and when I wake Anyu is still there holding my hand…I write “Is it morning yet”. They all laugh “No it isn’t, it’s 8pm”
“Anyu I know you can’t understand me, but go home you look so tired, I’m ok, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere, go home to Apu and Bro…I love you” I try to convey all of this in my eyes, but she doesn’t understand me I touch her face and wave for her to go away.
I sleep….and when I wake it is much lighter…finally it is morning.
Another nurse leans over my face. “Good morning darling!” I point to my tube…yes it is coming out today.
In comes the Dr, he is pale and looks worried I try to smile. “Mari there was a complication with your surgery, the main thing is that you are here”
I look to the nurse a bit confused, a complication…I write “Did you remove my Gall Bladder?”
“Yes, I did”
“What was the complication”.
“Your artery was severed during the procedure and you lost a lot of blood, but you are ok now. You will most likely be moved to a ward today.”
“What Day is it?” I write to the nurse.
“It is Wednesday”.
I’m stunned and I look confused.
“We kept you sedated for a day because you’ve been very ill, you came to us Monday night at 10pm and it is now Wednesday morning 7:30am. Honey you’ve lost a day!”
I smacked my hand to my forehead and start to cry, gag and vomit.