To remove the remaining doubts I have with regards to my worthiness of friendships.

Again how do I measure this one at the end of the year? Could it be as simple as if I can say "I have no more doubts in any aspect of my life"? I don't know.

Let me recap at the end of 2011 I was working on all my self-doubts and worthiness issues:

. Work related

. Family related

. Self-esteem related

During 2012 I became to realise that my main hang up was related to my worthiness of a truly rewarding friendship. At the end of 2012, I no longer doubt myself when it comes to my career. I no longer have doubts when it comes to my family. I no longer have doubts when it comes to me.

Friendships, this is my last hurdle. In my previous post I mention how I will endeavour to nurture my current friendships. In this post I want to set some goals as to removing the doubts I still have. This post and the previous are tightly linked I believe.

I am worthy of a reward true friendship. A friendship where I am cherished and treasured, a friendship where I am accepted. A friendship where is unconditional love. A friendship that nurtures me as much as it nurtures the other person.

Every one argues it is a way of life. If we all agreed then life would be boring and we wouldn't be individuals. It is our uniqueness and individuality that separates us as humans. We have free will; this was given to us by God and separated us from the Angels. We all have a right to choose. Our choices, all choices have consequences. A positive and negative effect.

This year I choose to:

. Always be true to myself

. Accept that I bring a lot to a friendship

. Be honest with myself and my friends.

The following has no place in my friendships:

. Lies

. Arguments over insignificant nothings

. Careless thinking

I am worthy of friendships, I deserve, no scratch that I demand:

. Respect

. Acceptance

. Support

. Loyalty

. Unconditional love

. Honesty

I am worthy of the above.

The line in the sand has been drawn today, if I feel that I am being treated unjustly, then I will disconnect from that person. It is unacceptable to me that my questions that are important to me go unanswered. If you don’t want to spend physical time with me, which is important in any friendship and not just for me. Then I am done, cyber friendship are good when you don’t “know” the people in real life and I have a few cyber friends that I still am in contact with.  But if you know me in real life and don’t want to spend “time” with me.  Then obviously I am no longer important to you and I end up getting hurt.  I am worthy of having people in my life that want to spend physical time with me.

I am Mari, I feel deeply. I question (there is a whole post about my questions coming soon). I care deeply for all my friends. I love easily. I cherish all and treasure everyone.

What will I do to remove the doubts:

. Believe

. Accept all as they are

. Support

. Respect others

. Cherish, treasure 

. Most importantly I will love.

Where you have a bond forged in love and acceptance then nothing can break that bond