I’m finding it hard to fall asleep lately, I’m not sure really what it is, but my meditation methods have been eluding me of late. After tossing and turning I sometimes end up in the other bedroom, where as soon as my head hits the pillow I’m ok. I’m suffering from mind chatter and have always, been like that but I can usually control it, sometimes reading, knitting and cross stitching have helped but not lately.
I’ve hinted to my Project Manager that I may need to go back to Full time. I hated having to say that as I’ve really become to love my Friday’s off. I can’t help the thought coming into my mind that one of the main reasons why Mimi and I are in this ‘spanner’ phase is because I’m getting a big kick up the bum because I’ve not really concentrated on what I should’ve been and that it loosing weight.
I get to play Mum again starting tonight, as Ellie and Tina are coming over for the weekend. I love it when they are here even though they are not babies but teenagers, I love spending time with them. I seem to take more of an adult role when they are here, it is hard to explain but I change, I definitely become more a mother.
Some would feel that having them over would make it harder as it just shows what you are missing out on. But not for me, I’m more determined than ever when they leave.