We had a lunch to celebrate my FIL’s Birthday and after we had finished eating we were just sitting there chatting when my SIL announces that she has news and that she is 9 weeks pregnant.
At that precise moment I felt this hand creep along my leg to grip my hand. I made all the right noises, and smiles whilst this hand was held mine in a kind of death grip. I asked all the right questions, pretended that I was ecstatic with hearing the news.
But really I felt sick, I wanted to throw up the meal that I had just consumed, the afternoon got worse from that point on. We didn’t stay much longer as the things that were coming out of her mouth were tactless and hurtful.
On the way home Ellie was asking Mimi if his sister even wanted the baby, she was saying things like:
“Oh you won’t believe how expensive it is”
“I hate it how my body is changing”
“Yes…It’s all about the baby now” (whilst rolling her eyes)
I really didn’t have time to think and absorb the impact of her news as we also had dinner plans with my Sister taking the girls home. For a 15 year old Ellie was very kind held my hand on the way home and to her house, made me laugh and generally not allow me to think about SIL.
But reality hit me this morning on the way to work and I can’t help feel but as the question WHY?. Why does my heart hurt like I’ve been shot in the chest…I can’t breath and I feel sick.
I know EXACTLY how your feel. It is the news I always dread and it is coming thick and fast with my age group.
ReplyDeleteI got my period today and am devastated...again. There's nothing I can say except I share your feelings.
Oh sweetie - it is so very hard isn't it. I find myself dreading anyone saying anything to me at the moment. I am so sure someone is going to tell me news like that. Truth is, they will never really understand, so they can't be tactful - never will unless they have been through this themselves. and we hope that never happens to anyone.
ReplyDeleteAnd you know the worst of it? When you and I get pregnant again and hit 9 weeks ourselves, if we tell anyone it will be hesitantly and they won't be as excited as the first time we told them as they won't know if our babies will make it. It is just horrible.
Well all I can say is that I hope she gets stretch marks, has m/s 24/7 and has a grumpy baby.
and i hope our babies (the ones that stick like glue) come to us soon. It is just too hard.