Wednesday 26 February 2014

The true person

People show their true selves in many forms, it is what you choose to do with that truth that really matters.

It is in a touch of a friend on your arm when you are grieving.  It is the kind word, look for a dear friend when you are upset.  It can be the smirk of a person sitting in front of you when you are talking.  It is in their eyes when you are trying to say something important.  It is the words that they say to you when speaking. It can be an expression on a person’s face when they think that no one is watching.  It can be the words they use to describe themselves “I am a bad friend”, “I am a lazy friend”, “I’m not good at keeping in touch with people”, “I can be selfish”, “I have a short temper”, “I anger quickly”, “I have a big heart”, “My friends are important to me”, “I don’t make friends easily” or “I have a large mouth”.

It is important to be awake enough, be present enough, centered enough to listen to what people are really saying and showing of their true self.

I learnt this the hard way.

Six adults and seven children staying on a house together for a summer break.  The ages of the children range from 1 years old to 13 years of age.  It is a hot summer, sun shining, no clouds and dry heat.  The wonderful house is situated in a tiny river inlet which connects to a large river, with 3 families we have two boats that are used to waterski, fish, and simply enjoy a summer by the river.

It was explained on the first hour of arriving at the house that when the 1 year old sleeps no other children (or Adults) are allowed near the bedroom, just in case that baby is woken from her sleep. This rule was strictly enforced to the other six children. The children understood the rule and the other parents ensured that their children were kept quiet when the baby was sleeping. 

The oldest girl becomes quite ill for being exposed to the summer heat and not drinking enough liquid.  She suffers from heat stroke and the next day she spends as much time as she can sleeping, drinking and resting.

The oldest girl is finally asleep in the house and the other children have been kept occupied outside in a blow up pool.  The baby is awake and is making a lot of noise, crying, screaming and carrying on.  A 4 year old girl enters the house and starts calling out to her brothers.  The mother of that child automatically tells the child to mind her manners as her friend is sleeping as she is ill.

The mother of the one year old asks her friend why is there a need to be quiet, when it is explained that there is a child sleeping in the house, the mother of the one year old shrugs her shoulders and continues to play with the one year old.

What struck me in that moment was the profound disrespect that I witnessed with that “shrug” and her facial expression.  It was “I just don’t care if there is another sleeping child”. I was shocked, bewildered and angry for the disrespect that this woman displayed.

The memory of that shrug and facial expression will remain with me.  I am not deliberately holding onto a negative memory and the way it made me feel because I want to keep negativity in my life. There was a moment in time just a moment between seeing the shrug and the rush of feelings when I saw her true self and knew then that my friend was no longer required in my life.

I hold onto that memory as an example of when to trust my true self, my heart that what I was seeing was the truth.

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